A Christmas carol

Charels Dickens wrote a wonderful story called A Christmas Carol. The story presents the awakening of a troubled spirit. He sees the Spirit of Christmas Past, the Spirit of Christmas Present and decides whether The Spirit of Christmas Future can be part of his existence (in that predictable form or not).

 While walking of the street yesterday I saw this half tree half shadow on one of the little streets my little town has and immediately made me think of Dickens' story. To me it was the symbolic image of my last Christmas: from far a complete image, but from close a dual reality. I was longing for several things and I felt extremely lonely. They keep telling you that happiness is an inside job, but only the one reconstructing their inner self know what that really means.
Traditionally, Christmas is spent with the loved ones, but my loved one was missing. Happiness is an inside job, but a warm hug never killed anyone, right?Anyway, last Christmas was about longing.

The Spirit of Christmas present is a different kind of Christmas. A relaxed, happy, detached one. One that enjoys the cookies, the presence of a few faithful friends, the Christmas lights. One that enjoys present in a bright red dress. One that sees love in a different light. Not like a saving boat, but like a little hut built together. One that hopes and fights against occasional melancholy. Because being hurt leaves a scar. One that will never allow anyone else to accuse her of being too strong or too emotional, too Simona and less what anyone else wants me to be. 

But one that hopes is a brighter future. 

One that saw Turkey and Italy in the summer. One that published a book. One that met beautiful people. One that gets after a long time "good morning messages!" and appreciates them for what they are.

One that let go of bitterness. One that wants to make a change. One that welcomes people in her life.

one that looks forwardly to meet the Spirit of Christmas Future. One that wants to start fresh this year. Who wants to study and travel more. Who wants to spend one month in Budapest  and hope that the course she'll attend might change her world someday. One wants to smile more.One that loves her past memories but also builds future ones.